Universal Sunset
Universal Sunset may refer to:
Event
A date in 2023 (July 1, 2023), when Google retired its longstanding web analytics tool “Universal Analytics” in favor of Google Analytics 4.
Arts and entertainment
A rock opera by Josh Silverbauer entitled “User Journey – Volume 1” — intended to amuse and entertain, as well as honor the aforementioned dearly departed platform. The album will be released serially throughout 2023. Available on all streaming platforms.
Contents
The Album: User Journey - Volume 1
The Story: Track by Track
The endless sunset. Many hoped this day would never come, yet it arrived nonetheless. Long had this sunset been foretold, a creeping wave of entropy moving across the galaxies.
Cookie, an entity of pure data, could sense the oncoming sunset. And behind it the raw, stochastic noise left in its wake. Many had already left this universe. Others, in their folly, still believed that the universe could never change. Cookie knew he had to move on, but he didn’t know how.
Track 1: “Universal Sunset”
Cookie looked inside himself, but only found more confusion. Scalars and vectors. Metrics and dimensions. They were all in there, whorls of information defying obvious patterns. The data Cookie needed was inside himself, but how could he see what it had to tell him? Just when he was convinced he would fade away into the sunset, a Blue Comet Space Diva streaked across the sky and began to sing.
Track 2: “Can You Visualize It?” (feat. Taphy Spencer)
It seemed Cookie was not the only one that had heard the Space Diva. From behind the moon, a Space Urchin suddenly appeared — drawn in by the Diva’s beautiful song. When the Urchin saw Cookie, a bright red saddle materialized on its back, nestled safely in-between large cobalt blue spikes.
Space Urchins could of course not speak, but were known galaxy-wide as mighty steeds for those they deemed worthy.
Track 3: “Follow the Urchin”
When Cookie sat atop the saddle he felt a sudden sense of purpose, and knew what he must do. Somehow he must find the Great Tag Magician, the renowned sorcerer who could step between different universes as easily as crossing the street.
The flamboyant sorcerer was known to wander the multiverse looking for the ultimate party, so lacking any better direction Cookie flew his way to the first party he could find.
Everyone seemed so nice at first, but then things started to get a little weird…
Track 4: “First Party Cookie & Third Party Cookie”
Cookie bounced from party to party hunting for a sign of the Great Tag Magician. After the 3rd party, Cookie started to feel hungry eyes on him, being watched no matter where he went. In a rush, he stumbled his way out of the party planet, fearing his quest was over before it had even begun. Bleary and tired, he caught a glint of something out of the corner of his eye.
To his amazement it was the Great Tag Magician, resplendent in a flamingo colored suit with long gloves and a top hat. In a single giant step, the sorcerer alighted from his dimensional transport ship to address Cookie.
Track 5: “Great Tag Magician”
to be continued…
The About: Credits and Whatnot
About
If there can be musicals about rapping treasury secretaries, foul-mouthed muppets, or jewish milkmen — why not analytics tools?
Credits
Josh Silverbauer: lyrics – music – production – general wizardry
Jason Packer: guitar – music on #4 – story help – et cetera
Taphy Spencer: vocals on #2
Brian Marsden: vocals on #5
Rachael Silverbauer: Alien Space Wench 1-6 on #4