Vol 1: Universal Sunset
Universal Sunset may refer to:
Event
A date in 2023 (July 1, 2023), when Google retired its longstanding web analytics tool “Universal Analytics” in favor of Google Analytics 4.
Arts and entertainment
A rock opera by Josh Silverbauer entitled “User Journey – Volume 1” — intended to amuse and entertain, as well as honor the aforementioned dearly departed platform. The album was released on October 30, 2023 and is available on all streaming platforms.
Contents
User Journey Volume 1: Universal Sunset
The Full Album
Track By Track
The Full Story
Overture
Prologue (read by Josh Silverbauer)
In a far away universe, there lived a little green alien named “Cookie”. If you saw Cookie, you’d probably say he was pretty funny looking with a pretty funny name. If he saw you, he’d probably say the same thing about you.
Cookie liked to stay out late playing with his friends. Sometimes he’d stay out until it got dark and he could see all the stars and galaxies, shining bright. One night, just as he and his friends were about to go home, they heard a booming voice spread across the sky.
“Listen up, people of the universe! It’s time for this universe to go to sleep. Just as the sun sets each night, this universe too must sunset and now is that time.”
Everyone was scared. Even the stars seemed to shiver and whisper quietly to each other.
“Is it true?” they all said. “What do we do? Where do we go? How long do we have?”
The rumbling voice spoke again.
“You have 10 more rises of the suns until all becomes dark. We have spoken.”
Then the voice was gone. Cookie looked into the dimming sky and thought to himself, “now what do I do?”
Universal Sunset
Blue Space Diva (read by Julian Juenemann)
Cookie was confused, and a bit sad. This was the only universe he knew, why was it disappearing? Where could he go when everything turned dark? He was so full of questions he didn’t even know which one to ask first. Cookie was smart, but the more he thought the more questions came. Cookie looked up into the sky, dreading the day it all went dark.
Feeling discouraged, then he noticed a comet streaking across the sky — a brilliant light, gleaming in the face of the oncoming darkness. Riding the comet was a Space Diva, who saw that Cookie looked sad and began to sing him a song.
Can You Visualize It? (feat. Taphy Spencer)
The Listener (read by Juliana Jackson)
Cookie wasn’t the only one who had heard the Diva’s beautiful song. Sliding out from behind the moon, a wild Space Urchin came down to investigate. The Urchin was bright blue with huge spines jutting out all over. It looked fearsome, but Cookie knew that the Space Urchins were friendly, and could be true and loyal companions with the power to travel quickly between the stars.
With such a steed Cookie could search out the help he needed, someone to help him find a way to another universe.
Follow the Urchin
Search for the Sorcerer (read by Jim Gianoglio)
The Space Urchin could travel far, but it did not have the magic required to leave this doomed universe.
Cookie had heard tales of such a person, known far and wide as the Great Tag Magician! The Great Tag Magician was a powerful wizard, but as was common of his kind you never knew where he would be. The wizard ranged far and wide, wherever and whenever he pleased. He was known to love parties though, so Cookie jumped on the Space Urchin and started to fly straight towards the first party he could find.
The people at the first party seemed really nice. They didn’t know where the Tag Magician was, but they were really interested in Cookie and asked all kinds of questions. Too many questions…
First Party Cookie (TPC)
The Wizard Descends (read by Simo Ahava)
The weirdness only got worse with each new party that Cookie went to. After the 3rd party, Cookie had had enough and gave up. He would never find the Great Tag Magician.
But as wizards tend to do, that’s when the Great Tag Magician found Cookie. The wizard grew from a small glint in the corner of Cookie’s eye to a tall man in a pink suit with gloves and a top hat, bowing low in front of Cookie and introducing himself.
Fresh from a party in another dimension, the Great Tag Magician had heard of Cookie’s plight and wished to help. Cookie and his trusty Space Urchin were wary of the wizard, but what choice did they have?
Great Tag Magician
On The Edge (read by Sofiia Wycisk)
Ensorcelled by the Great Tag Magician’s spell, Cookie found himself alone and adrift — in between where he had been and where he had yet to go. It was peaceful, but far too quiet. Wide awake, and yet dreaming. He didn’t understand what was happening.
The Great Tag Magician explained that it was up to Cookie to decide where he would travel to. He could go anywhere, he had only to know where to go. From this empty place that was not a place, he could reach out across the many different universes. He could feel them all out there, but in order to talk to them, he had to leave his universe behind. And so he did.
Beyond My Universe
Gone... (Read by Jason Packer)
Cookie listened to the universes. There were so many of them, at first it all just sounded like noise. But when he concentrated he could hear each of them, individual songs just for him. Some songs were tiny and quiet, and some were big and loud. They all had beauty in their own way, but there were so many.
When he concentrated, Cookie could reach out to each universe and listen to its song. The number of songs was truly frightening, Cookie knew he would have to be brave and patient to find a new universe. He began to carefully listen, ready for the next part of his journey.
The About: Credits and Whatnot
About
If there can be musicals about rapping treasury secretaries, foul-mouthed muppets, or jewish milkmen — why not analytics tools?
Credits
Josh Silverbauer: lyrics – music – production – general wizardry – narration on #2
Jason Packer: guitar – music on #9 – narration words – et cetera – narration on #14
Taphy Spencer: vocals on #5
Brian Marsden: vocals on #11
Rachael Silverbauer: Alien Space Wench 1-6 on #9
Narrators
Julian Juenemann (#4)
Juliana Jackson (#6)
Jim Gianoglio (#8)
Simo Ahava (#10)
Sofiia Wycisk (#12)